Jim’s Brain Online

Posted by Jim at January 10th, 2007

I don’t know if it happens to you, but sometimes I wonder what happened to people I know from high school. Specifically, I’ve occasionally wondered about Erik Prince, a person with whom I was on the track team. We weren’t close or anything, but I talked to him every once in a while. Also, his parents were wealthy and financed my class’s high school graduation party.

A few days ago, someone told me that he owned a com pany that supplied mercenaries to protect people in Iraq. “Oh,” I thought to myself, “that’s interesting. So that’s what he’s doing now.”

And then today, this:

Erik Prince, the secretive, mega-millionaire, right-wing Christian founder of Blackwater, the private security firm that has built a formidable mercenary force in Iraq, champions his company as a patriotic extension of the U.S. military. These mercenary units in Iraq, including Blackwater, contain some 20,000 fighters. They unleash indiscriminate and wanton violence against unarmed Iraqis, have no accountability and are beyond the reach of legitimate authority. The appearance of these paramilitary fighters, heavily armed and wearing their trademark black uniforms, patrolling the streets of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, gave us a grim taste of the future.

(From David Brin’s blog, scroll down a bit in the post and you’ll find it in context)

In a science fiction novel or comic book, this would undoubtedly be preparatory to me getting superhuman abilities and lead to a dramatic confrontation in the halls of Blackwater’s HQ. *

In reality of course, superpowers are not forthcoming and it remains very, very strange to find someone you knew mentioned on your favorite author’s blog as a possible source of theocratic dictatorship.

I’ve got to admit though, that I don’t think that either Erik or Blackwater is particularly likely to try to end democracy. The article that Brin pulls the quote from has a certain conspiracy theory quality to it that I can’t quite pin down. It might be that as someone who is a Christian and comes out of an evangelical background, I don’ t know anybody who’d be for a theocracy. In fact, on the rare occasions that I’ve been in Christian bookstores, I’ve been amused to notice multiple Christian, political thrillers in which the presumably atheistic left puts a dictatorship in place.

If nothing else, US citizens of all stripes share a common anxiety.

* Clarification: For those of you who don’t ever read comics or science fiction, it’s worth mentioning that it’s pretty common to have someone that the main character likes turn up later doing something that they disagree with. It’s a good way to ratchet up the tension. It’s kind of overused though.

Posted by Jim at January 3rd, 2007

I haven’t been mentioning this sort of thing, but I’ve almost completed three full years of blogging and am about to start my fourth. I’m a little surprised that I’m still at it and think that it’s cool that some people actually read this thing (or so my stat package tells me),

I’ve never written with an audience in mind, but if I did, I’d imagine an audience of friends and occasionally family. If you’ve somehow come to read this blog without knowing me personally, that’s cool too. We’ll have to meet one of these days.

This being the first blog post of the new year, I’m tempted to reflect on the old year and set some goals for the new.

I barely know what to say about the old year though. While not spectacularly good, it wasn’t spectactularly bad either.

I started writing my novel again which is good. I didn’t finish my master’s project which is not so good. I’ve got work to do for various clients, something that does make me happy.

This year, I’d like to get a version of my business website up that I’m happy about. I’d also like to finish the current draft of my novel and start the next. In an ideal world I’d like to run more and maybe learn about technical climbing.

I’d also like to start a web comic. I’ve got a bad feeling that I’d have to learn to draw first though. I’m thinking about whether or not that’s feasible.

Beyond that, I’d like to get better at programming. In particular I’d like to improve my skills with javascript, ruby and php.

In short, I’ve got a big pile of things that I’d like to do (and this list skips a few…). I’ve just got to figure out a way to transform them into something I can actually take action on.

That’s all.

Posted by Jim at December 29th, 2006

Here’s a tale from the “Blogging about Totally Insignificant Things Department” of the internet…

As you know, it was Christmas on Monday which means that we end up having our garbage taken a day later than usual. This puts life out of the normal routine for a number of reasons. Normally, for example, I have to get up for a 7:00 am, business-related meeting, making it very easy to get out the garbage on time.

Making the meeting on time is a bit harder for me, but we won’t get into that.

So anyway, I was getting kids up when I heard the garbage truck stop across the street. At that moment, I realized a few things in quick succession. First that the garbage was not out. Second, that I only had about five minutes before it came back up our side of the street. Thirdly, that if I didn’t get it out, I would be stuck with the Stinking Trash of Death for another week.

I ran back to my own room, pulled clothes on and ran downstairs.

I’d overestimated the amount of time that I actually had, however, and found that the garbage truck had not only made it back to my side of the street, but had actually passed my house and stopped two houses down from me.

Yanking the bag of trash out of the can, I wrapped a twist-tie around the open end and ran down the stairs of our porch, managing to bash my leg and the bag against something in the process.

In the meantime, the garbage truck moved still further down the block.

Following it, I sprinted down the street, garbage bag in hand.

I caught up with it just two houses down from the church at the corner. The garbageman took the trash without remark. As he threw it into the truck, I noted a fairly significant rip at the bottom of the bag, but, miraculously it still seemed to be holding the contents inside. Turning around, I was relieved to find that I hadn’t left a trail of trash on the sidewalk.

When I got home though, I saw a wet pull-up (one of our kids is slightly inconsistent at night) and a broken eggshell next to the porch stairs.

I went in and got a broom and dust pan.

When I got back outside, I realized something that I’d altogether missed on the way in. A four inch wide trail of cat litter ran down the walk between the porch and the driveway.

I can think of better ways to begin a day.

Posted by Jim at December 10th, 2006

So last night Kristen and I went to the Christmas party for her new place of work. She now works at a for profit psychiatric hospital instead of a non-profit, church controlled, social work agency.

No surprise then that the annual Christmas party is held at the Amway Grand Plaza and the participants were expected to dress up. As in suits, ties and evening gowns (though not (obviously) all of those at once…).

I’m not really into dressing up, but I nonetheless decided to go to the bother of buying a belt, tie and pants that would match my suit coat.

I brought them home and showed them to Kristen. Afterwards we had the conversation that follows:

Kristen: What suit coat are you wearing with that?
Me: The blue one.
Kristen: You can’t wear black pants with a navy blue coat. You should have bought khaki. Black and blue don’t go together.
Me: They do with bruises.

She didn’t buy that one.

In the end though, there wasn’t any time left to buy new pants. I wore exactly that combination and I thought it looked okay.

I’ll find out exactly how okay in the near future. The event also included a photographer who took pictures of everyone before they went in.

Posted by Jim at December 5th, 2006

I’ve watched the classic Disney movie Winnie the Pooh again recently. It’s not by choice.

My mother-in-law has a lot of children’s videos and dvd’s and loans them out to my kids when they come over to her house. While this is very nice of her, there is a downside.

I work at home. The VCR, dvd player and tv are in the same room as all three of the working computers in our home. Though we limit the amount of time that Abby and Rebecca watch tv, kids often watch the same movie over and over again if they like it.

They like Winnie the Pooh.

As a result I’ve heard it many too many times in the 2 weeks that they’ve been borrowing it. I look forward to the next time they visit their grandma. It means that they will return the video and I won’t have to hear any of the songs in the movie again.

Not that that will make a difference. I can sing most of them from memory now. Occasionally they pop into my head and repeat themselves just for no good reason.

With any luck I’ll be able to avoid breaking into song when I’m with a client. I’m thinking that Tigger’s song would be a good one to avoid. An excerpt:

“Flouncy, bouncy
flouncy, bouncy
fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!”

“Another wonderful thing about tiggers is
I’m the only one!
IIIIIIII’m the only one!”

Here’s one thing I’d forgotten about Winnie the Pooh: It breaks the fourth wall. The narrator talks to the characters and actually helps Tigger out of a tree. It’s pretty odd. Also, some of the animations (I’m thinking in particular about the one for “Heffalumps and Woozils”) are psychedelic.

Interestingly, Christopher Robin, the son of the author of the Winnie the Pooh books, had very mixed feelings about being famous. Let me rephrase that for greater accuracy… He hated being famous, something that ultimately strained his relationship with this father.

There’s some sort of lesson there about being careful about what you write about family members. On the other hand, I recall that Kurt Vonnegut’s son ended up having mental heath issues that Vonnegut’s success played some role in–and so far as I know Vonnegut didn’t write about his son at all. So it may be that lessons aren’t especially easy to draw.

It may just be that fame is bad for kids.

Whatever the case, I know that I liked Winnie the Pooh books and movies as a child and I’m sure many other people did as well.

I’m just hoping my enjoyment survives the current bout of overexposure to Pooh.

Posted by Jim at November 18th, 2006

Kristen went to the Grand Rapids Symphony last night. She went with my sister because I was going to a role playing game.

When I got home she complained that some people in the row in front of her were drunk and hollering at the points where you could applaud. Apparently, the people next to her actually moved because they didn’t want to sit directly behind these people.

I’d never imagined the Grand Rapids Symphony as something that could be improved with copious quantities of alcohol. Drunkenness seems like something you’d do at a more popular event like a hockey game (”HEY NUMBNUTS!”) * or a rock concert.

UPDATE: According to Kristen, I missed many of the more annoying activities of the drunken women in the row ahead of her. Thus it’s worth noting that they also:
1. Sang along
2. Swayed along with the music
3. Pretended to direct the orchestra

Their ages? Fifty-ish according to Kristen. In short, old enough to know better.

* Actual quote (among many, many others) from a very drunken man I got to sit behind at a Griffins‘ game. And did I ever tell you about the Red Sox vs. Yankees game I once attended? We got seated behind an entire bar full of people. At least that’s what I guessed from their identical t-shirts. I can only assume that they’d hung out there before the game because they certainly had no need to get beer at the stadium (which didn’t stop them) and shouted abuse at the Yankees practically from the beginning to the end of the game. My dad likes the Yankees, but I don’t remember him being particularly vocal about that at the time. Maybe he should have been drinking.

Technorati Tags: public drunkenness, life, strange things, grand rapids symphony

Posted by Jim at November 2nd, 2006

Recently Topher wrote about the Electric Company, a cool and rather surreal show from his childhood (as well as mine).

If you feel the urge to watch clips from the Electric Company, try this youtube search…

UPDATE: While you’re at it, take a look at this video which manages to parody the Electric Company, Mister Rogers, and 70’s rock music all in the space of 10 minutes.

Posted by Jim at October 27th, 2006

At one point, one of our cats decided that tipping over his water bowl was highly entertaining. He would put his paw on the side, tip it a little to test it, and then just push the side all the way to the floor.

We got a new bowl for him within a few days. The last one was made out of plastic. The current one is made of clay and weighs almost as much as he does.

This same cat also had a strong interest in pressing the eject button and popping the cd tray out of the cd player. Once he followed it up by removing the cd with his teeth. This is why Dvorak’s New World Symphony’s third movement is unlistenable.

The cd player is now inside our entertainment center.

I don’t know what we would have done if the cat started to do this…

Posted by Jim at October 20th, 2006

In discussing a recent blog entry with my wife, I was reminded of a similar event in my own childhood.

When I was in first grade, I ended up being sick with the flu for about a week. When I was feeling good enough to do homework, they started sending home the worksheets I would ordinarily have done at school.

I wasn’t entirely finished with all of them when I went back to school. Thus I was finishing them off after coming home. At some point, I got bored and picked up the scissors I was using and experimentally cut my hair in the front. Despite the fact that it was a rather dull scissors, it did cut hair.

Soon after I did this, my mom came into the kitchen and noticed me at the table. More to the point, she noticed my hair and asked me about it. Faced with the dim but growing sense that cutting one’s hair was something that could get a person in trouble, I lied.

I created a story in which the most powerful force I could imagine (a bunch of second graders) was running around the playground with scissors giving children haircuts.

Amazingly, she bought it. My mom is actually an intelligent person so I put this down to the fact that I was generally a truthful child. What I did not anticipate was that she would then call my teacher and and inform her that second graders were running around the playground with scissors and giving children haircuts.

So, the next day I was taken out of class. My teacher asked which other children had had their hair cut so she could talk to them.

This caused me to do some story revision. So, I explained that I was the only one whose hair had actually been cut.

Then she wanted me to identify the second graders who had done it.

Erm…

I realized at that point that while I did not want to tell my mom that I’d cut my hair, I also didn’t want to get some random kid in trouble.

I confessed.

My teacher then lectured me about lying. I remember it as a rather traumatic event and realized as I was telling my wife about it that I’d never told the story to anyone before. This despite the fact that I remember thinking about it a lot during my elementary school years.

I’ll leave it to you the reader to construct your own moral.

Posted by Jim at October 8th, 2006

The “make up” day for school pictures is this week. Our kids didn’t get to the regular school pictures day because pictures were taken on a day that they don’t go to school. Fortunately it turns out that “make up” day is on a day when they do go to school. It’s just that if the pictures turn out to be bad, there is no way to change them.

Trouble is, we know now that they will be bad pictures. Why?

Some of you may remember a story arc in “Calvin and Hobbes” in which Calvin brings hair gel and shapes his hair into a shark fin (or something like that).

Well, that’s not really an option for our kids now. They put a chair next to the stove and climbed up to the cupboard above the stove.

The second shelf above the stove is where we keep the scissors–safely out of kids’ reach.

You can guess what follows that. The pile of hair under the piano. “My Pretty Pony’s” new (and much shorter) tail. The larger hair pile next to the toy box mixed with multi-colored string (the origins of which we will someday discover).

In summary:
The scissors are now in a new place.

The haircuts are not our fault. *

* Well, sort of. I was downstairs in the basement when it happened. While I didn’t hear them do anything, there was a point at which it got really, really quiet. Those of you with kids will know that that’s the point at which I should have run upstairs.