Jim’s Brain Online

Posted by Jim at September 24th, 2007

It’s technically Sunday morning. Two A.M. I was working on a writing project (or, more accurately, had decided to stop working on my project since I intended to go to church in the morning).

Someone knocked on the door.

I decided not to bother to answer because I’m of the belief that no one I actually want to talk to would be knocking on the door at that time.

The knocking stopped and I heard voices, angry voices, one of which seemed particularly angry. I don’t really know what they said. It didn’t seem like much of a conversation. The only phrase I remember clearly is “motherfucking phone.”

That got repeated a lot.

Loudly.

I saved my file, shut down my laptop, and pulled out my cell phone, deciding that if it went on for very long that I would call the police. I also turned off the kitchen and dining room light, leaving only the inside light by the front door on.

The outside light on the front porch burned out and needs to be changed.

I peered out our front windows trying to figure out what was going on. If they were trying to break in to our house they certainly weren’t doing it very efficiently. I heard occasional thumping noises but never any ripping of screens or shattering glass.

Anyway, if you were going to break in to a house, why pick the only house on the block where the lights are obviously on?

Whatever was going on outside sounded more like an argument than a break-in.

Looking outside, I saw one guy standing on our lawn while another ran around a lot. Once he ran down our porch and ripped a small piece of wood off something in our neighbor’s lawn and ran toward our porch.

It made very little sense in that I only saw two people but I thought I’d heard three voices.

As I began to call 911, Kristen came downstairs. I stopped calling 911 as she started calling them from our land line.

She explained what was happening, adding that she thought they were trying to break into our house. I said that I didn’t think they were and she handed the phone to me and I explained what I’d seen to the woman on the other end of the line.

She said that they would send a car.

We waited. No police car came.

They wandered off. Ran, actually. First they ran up our neighbor’s driveway. Then they ran down the driveway of the house across the street from us. Then they went south on a street near us, came back and traveled west down the street directly in front of our house.

Forty minutes later, there was still no sign of the Grand Rapids police.

After they’d been gone for a while, I called the police department’s line for non-emergency assistance and asked what was going on. The person on the other end of the line said that they had sent out a patrol car and that it was on the scene, but that the scene had moved. Apparently other people had called to complain from other houses in the area and the police had followed the complaints down the street.

Kristen and I decided to go to bed, guessing that it was over for the night.

The next morning we surveyed the damage. The piece of wood from my neighbor’s lawn lay in front of our door. A number of Kristen’s flower pots had been turned over, broken, or dumped off the side of the porch.

The hook on one of the hanging plants had blood on it.

The grill on our screen door had been bent in and there were a couple small blood spatters on the door itself.

I called the police non-emergency line to ask if I should clean up the mess or if they wanted to look at it for some reason.

I was told that I could clean it up.

At this point I decided that if this were a burglary, it was the least competent burglary ever in that rather than taking a knife and cutting through the screen door, these people had thrown our plants at the door and somehow managed to cut themselves on the pots. They had to be on drugs or something.

Yet, it didn’t seem quite right.

One of my neighbors called me today. He’d been out that night and came home at two in the morning to hear a fight going on on my front porch.

He saw three kids at my house. One stood on my walk. One stood on my porch. The other was taunting the one on the porch, swinging his belt at the guy, throwing things, and cursing.

The one on the lawn hung back and did nothing until one of the many thrown items hit the person on the porch. At that point, he tried to stop the guy with the belt.

Beyond that, our neighbor also thought he saw a couple of the kids (he guessed they were high school or middle school aged) go into houses on our block.

Interestingly, the neighbor in question was one of the other people who had called 911. At the time though, the operator had told him that they would send a car when they had one available.

He was unimpressed.

In one sense I can understand it. High school students fighting on a porch are probably not the worst crime going on in the city on a Saturday night/Sunday morning. Still, you’d think that the police would have more of a response than that.

As for myself, I’m disappointed that I somehow failed to notice the kid being victimized on our porch. I know how it happened. There’s a big bush between the window I was looking out of and the porch, making it hard to see what was happening in the dark.

Nonetheless, I wonder if I could have done something. I’d like to think I would have if I’d understood the situation better.

Posted by Jim at September 19th, 2007

I think they may turn into salsa in the near future.

Posted by Jim at September 19th, 2007

Arr…

(Sorry folks, there’s no way I can keep that up for an entire post…)

Posted by Jim at September 16th, 2007

I’ve been reading stories online lately.

I’m thinking specifically of Banter Latte, but I’ve noticed other* places** that are doing the same sort of thing.

By the “same sort of thing,” I mean putting original fiction online–not fan-fiction or slash.

Sometimes I think it would be fun to post some stories myself. It would certainly be easier than starting a web comic. For one thing, I wouldn’t be limited by either a) the fact that I can’t draw or b) finding an artist that would be willing to draw what I write without pay.

There would, of course, be some things to consider. For example, the fact that I’d have zero chance of publishing whatever I post. Publishers want the right to publish things for the first time and web sites count.

Thus I’d have to come up with a concept that is simultaneously cool enough to want to spend time on but also unpublishable. That way I only gain in that whatever I write has the potential to create interest in my writing while not losing whatever (small?) chance it had of appearing in a book or magazine.

Another thing to think about though, is that the speed at which I write is pretty slow. Thus, writing much of anything and publishing it on my blog would probably take time away from my novel–something I’m not enthusiastic about.

Another possibility? Just serializing my novel and password protecting it. That way friends of mine who want to read and comment on it can and it wouldn’t officially be published. Plus I’d get feedback on what works for people and what doesn’t.

On the other hand, I’d also lose the benefit of posting online in the first place in that people couldn’t randomly come upon a story of mine, like it, and stick around.

Of course, I could do both…

So anyway, there’s something for me to think about. With any luck, I actually will.

* Star Harbor Nights is superhero fiction and partly responsible for my current urge to play superhero games. Banter Latte can be blamed for the other half of that urge.

** Tales of MU, though interesting and well-written, includes more sex than I’m really comfortable with. I guess that makes me a prude.

Posted by Jim at September 11th, 2007

At the risk of making this blog a repository of obituaries for artists whose work I’ve enjoyed, I thought I’d mention that Joe Zawinul died today.

Joe Zawinul was one of the innovators in jazz’s fusion movement, bringing elements of rock into jazz. Among his many contributions, he played with Miles Davis and Cannonball Adderley and founded his own band, Weather Report.

While leading Weather Report, he hired Jaco Pastorius, an innovative bass player whose ideas still influence bass players today.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that Zawinul was significant. Check out his music.

Posted by Jim at September 9th, 2007

Before you read what follows, you might want to read the following article:
Will Guns Make Schools Safer?

If it disappears on you (and it likely will after a few days), here’s the gist of it. Michigan State Representative David Agema (R-Grandville) introduced a bill last week that would allow teachers to have
a gun in school.

As an added bonus, it would also allow parents to carry concealed weapons while transporting their children to and from school.

Interestingly, all the school officials and school security guards interviewed are against the bill.

Agema’s reasoning (according to the Grand Rapids Press) appears to be that it will make terrorists and potential school shooters think twice before targeting Michigan schools.

In all honesty, it seems like a horrible idea to me and not just slightly horrible, but actually horrible in a way that tempts me to make hyperbolic statements about Representative Agema.

Rude hyperbolic statements.

I’m not going to do that, however, because from what I understand he’s a decent guy. In this case, however, he’s a decent guy who’s come up with a really bad idea.

If you’ll forgive me, I’ll run through the reasons I think it’s a bad idea:

Teachers are Teachers and Not SWAT Teams: Changing That Will Be Expensive
1. While the article mentions that teachers will receive special weapons training, I can’t help but be curious about the details of that. Simply knowing how to fire a weapon at a target would not be enough.

Off the top of my head, I’d want them to know the following: small unit tactics so that they can coordinate with other gun carrying teachers, enough knowledge of police techniques that they don’t interfere with police efforts, weapons knowledge (of course), and regular refresher courses so that they don’t forget what they’ve learned.

I can’t help but think that this might be expensive. If so, I wonder if the money might be better spent on educating children as opposed to, you know, shooting them.

Mind you, they might not go with anything near as extensive as the sort of training that I’d argue for. In that case, my other objections come out in full force…

Putting More Guns Into the Mix Doesn’t Automatically Improve the Situation
2. Teachers that aren’t coordinating with the police might accidentally get into firefights with the police.

3. Also teachers that aren’t coordinating with each other might get into firefights with each other.

4. Teachers that miss their intended targets might hit students that aren’t involved.

5. The parents who might be carrying concealed weapons to school aren’t required to take any additional training at all. As such, the previous points apply to them as well.

6. Instead of making it harder for students to commit crimes, it might make it easier for them to obtain guns–if they know which of their teachers are carrying them.

Can We Solve an Improbable Situation By Sprinkling Our Schools Randomly With Guns?
7. By encouraging teachers and parents to bring guns to school, it seems that we’re replacing something improbable with a more concrete problem.

Specifically what I mean by that is that terrorist attacks and school shootings (though well publicized when they happen) are uncommon.

By contrast, people do shoot themselves (or others) accidentally while cleaning a gun or even by pulling the trigger too early. During deer season, it seems that someone almost always gets shot instead of a deer.

People also sometimes misinterpret people’s intentions. To put it another way, the more nervous people you have carrying guns and looking for school shooters (or terrorists), the more likely that someone is going to mistake an innocent occurrence for something more sinister.

Police are trained in procedures to follow to determine whether it’s wise to shoot or not (and how to avoid shooting).

The general public is not.

Do you know what? The police still make mistakes despite their training. I’m not excited about finding out whether the general public will do better without it.

Posted by Jim at September 7th, 2007

Madeleine L’Engle died yesterday.

I’d write about her significance but I’m sure others have done it better. Still, I remember reading her books as a child and teenager, and, even as an adult. Despite being mostly categorized as books for children and “young adults,” her books are simply good books.

My personal favorites are “The Arm of the Starfish” and “The Young Unicorns.”

Interestingly, she attended my church on at least one occasion. I didn’t meet her at the time. I only know this because someone took a picture and they kept it up in the church for years.

The New York Times Obituary
NPR’s Obituary