Mmm… Bacon

My wife informs me that I should be writing more blog entries that people actually want to read. By this she means entries that she wants to read–ones that do not talk about intricacies of various operating systems or role playing game theory/practices.

Thus today I’m writing an entry on something that touches everyone deeply: bacon.

I never really tried to cook bacon on the stove until about five years after being married. The reason for this is that microwaves are pretty decent at cooking bacon. Decent at any rate if you have the sense to buy one of those special plastic pans for cooking meat in the microwave. I don’t. I tend to cook bacon on plates and cover the plates with paper towels to prevent spattering.

Typically this results in well cooked bacon, but also bacon that melds into a solid mass on the plate. Worse, sometimes the paper towel gets mixed in with the bacon. Also, I’ve sometimes shattered plates in the process.

Thus, I’ve been motivated to actually start cooking bacon on the stove. This was harder for me than you might expect. I’ve burned a lot of bacon lately. It turns out that (so far as I can tell) the best way to cook bacon is to heat up a burner a bit on the low side of medium. That way the bacon gets slowly cooked, ending up entirely done but still soft. Cooking the bacon on medium (at least when I do it) is likely to result in the bacon getting simultaneously undercooked and burned in different places on the piece.

There we go… I have now written a post that does not include role playing games or computers.

Kristen, this one’s for you! *

* I wonder if Kristen will find this funny?

** Kristen, if you are reading this, see what happens when you leave me alone with only a mission, children, the internet, and my sense of absurdity to keep me company?

*** You’ll note that I didn’t mention my sense of humor. That’s on vacation at the moment.

**** Ugh. It’s nearly noon and all of us are still in pajamas. I wonder if I should do something about that?

7 thoughts on “Mmm… Bacon”

  1. Wonderful article Jim! I laughed. I cried. The ending was wonderfully unexpected. Four stars.

    Now how about a role playing game that uses cooking bacon to resolve conflict?

  2. Either of those would be pretty cool. I wonder if I could interface the bacon with my laptop via USB?

    Actually, in reference to the ending to the post, here’s the conversation when Kristen came home from Flute Choir practice:

    (It is 1 p.m. I have just gotten out of the shower)

    Kristen: Jim. The children are still in pajamas. What is going on here?

    Me: Um… The clothes fairy didn’t come?

    Kristen: That is not a good answer.

  3. Jim, you should get out more. In reality, I found this entry to be quite amusing. Kristen is correct, however, for at least this reader. My eyes glaze over pretty quickly when reading about role playing games.

  4. Is this the same Jim Zoeteway that I knew as a youth in Holland? I Googled “Charlevoix Minor League Baseball”, having just returned from a quick getaway up north and hearing of it in the early 1900’s. Your blog was hit because of an entry on Charlevoix, and a separate one on a baseball book. Small World!

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