Raiders of the Lost Abby
Posted by Jim at March 7th, 2004
There’s a scene in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” in which Indiana Jones desperately attempts to hang on to a truck while the driver (a Nazi soldier) attempts to shake him off.
We reenact this scene weekly at the grocery store.
In the infinite wisdom of D&W (the grocery store we visit most often), someone recently decided to replace the old “special childrens’ carts” with new “special childrens’ carts.” The old carts apparently looked too much like what they really are–rolling straightjackets.
With very little work, the old carts allowed parents to competely immobilize their children, making it surpisingly easy to take toddlers to the grocery store. Needless to say, children hated them.
The new carts take a different approach. They look like toy trucks that happen to have a grocery cart instead of a flatbed. The children (theoretically) sit in the cab.
Due to the new carts’ popularity, the seat belts turn out to be damaged more than half the time (and thus don’t work). This would be more annoying if Abby hadn’t figured out how to open them.
Now things are an awful lot like “Raiders” except that we’re trying to keep Abby safely inside while she attempts to:
1. ride on the roof,
2. lean backwards out the front where a windshield ought to be
3. hang out the side windows
4. point out all free samples
5. point out any product with particularly garish (and therefore appealing) packaging
6. reach back into the groceries for anything that looks particularly good.
I’m not sure I want to know what percentage of our sentences include the phrase “Abby, please sit down.”
As for our other daughter, Rebecca… She’s still small enough to fit in the child seat at the back of the cart. Thus she’s strapped in and high off the ground.
Someday, however, she will be too big for that seat. After that, they will both have to “sit” in the cab.
You can imagine just how much I look forward to that.
I still strap Joey into a standard grocery cart and am not looking forward to those “toy” grocery carts you mention. I think they’re death traps myself, as I can’t count the number of times a kid has thrust his or her arm out of the cab’s window into my cart, the parent’s blissfully unaware of how their child almost lost a limb. I see lawsuits.
Ed Hand
D’oh… I don’t no where “parent’s” came from in that second to last sentence. I need to get me an editor, or at least a proofreader.
Ed Hand
Nothing to worry about. I didn’t notice the “parent’s” until you pointed it out.
As for the carts… I don’t know how many times I’ve thought Abby was going to hit her head on something as I was turning the corner.
She does pretty well at pulling it back, though. Of course, I’m pretty paranoid about that at this point and am constantly watching her.
Jim Zoetewey
Thanks for not pointing out the “no” in my last comment. I’m not thinking straight right now.
Ed Hand